Train, eat, sleep, and what are the rest of these thoughts?
Today has been wonderful. Started off my day with a run in the park about 6am this morning. It was gorgeous. Really took it all in. No music. Nature has a way of bringing a calmness to your mind. It is a way to take you out of the crazy everyday world and helps to ground you. In this calmness there is a power. The energy I get from being in the midst of nature sometimes surprises me. It just resonates so differently. It’s lush beautiful colors are invigorating and you can almost feel the color leaping out to you. There is a softness ground. It just feels like you were meant to be here. It’s comforting, exhilarating, and powerful in the most gentle of ways. Here is a picture of where I ran this am.
So I came home and fixed breakfast…egg whites and oatmeal…my favorite meal of the day. Had that with some peppermint tea which is refreshing. Then off to the Chiropractor to keep this body moving properly. There is no time for injuries now.
Then the real work begins. GYM TIME. Today was Chest and Shoulders. Then my daily abs, calves, cardio, and stretching. Felt strong. Got a serious pump today. During cardio I had all sorts of things crossing my mind. Work, training, competition, certain people pop in my mind. Then I had a motivational video rolling to help me get through the grind of cardio and keep pushing. It was tossing out all sorts of quotes and stories. One of which really got to me. Made me think of a friend that is on an amazing journey. The video started spouting off a quote about how people come into your lives for a reason and you can ignore it or take it in as an opportunity to grow. Boom….goose bumps and a surge of energy hit me in a flash. I start pushing harder as I think about others on their journeys and how hard I know they are pushing for their goals. I was amazed at the energy and was blasting the Stair Mill. How awesome is it that another’s journey can help you rocket through your own. hahaha
Then I had some down time. I’m on my own most of the day time and have lots of time to think. Yep…here is where you can get yourself into trouble. As I was driving I’m thinking of what I can do and how I should spend my time over the next few hours. I felt the loneliness start to creep in. Thinking about my life and where I am at. I wasn’t getting sad about it but just letting my mind wonder. I am the type of person who likes to give and share with others. I’ve got a very tight circle of amazing friends who I know are there for me whenever and whatever I need. For that I am very grateful. Many of them are married or are in relationships. It’s so nice to see that and love being around them. Then of course you get to thinking…What about me? When will it be my time to find someone, and by someone I don’t really mean just someone. I am talking about the one. The one who gets me. Understands what I do and who I am. I am so much more than what many see. I am deep. My ability to care for another is massive. I give from the heart. So as I analyze all these thoughts bouncing around in my head. I realize that maybe I haven’t been ready. Maybe I haven’t truly grasped who I am. Now of course I know who I am, but have I really portrayed that and lived up to my own values. Unfortunately no. I’ve always tried to be the people pleaser and taking care of others first. Put their feelings above my own and in the end was left depleted and without what I truly needed. That’s what happens when you are not true to yourself. When you always put others as a priority over your own needs. Of course there are times you need to do these kinds of things. It’s just not always how you need to go about it.
Interesting how having more time on my own has really given me some time to reflect. I have to say this is because I have really made some ground in just being me. Before I would have worried about what I was going to do and have to be in contact with people frequently to just feel ok. Now I’m taking this time and diving into the well. I’ve been pulling up buckets from deep within my soul and pouring them out to see what its all about. Amazing how when you change your perspective that these “awful” situations you’ve been through turn into some thought provoking lessons.
My mind wanders quite a bit. I miss my friends, my routines, my comforts of home, and my clients. This is temporary. I am here putting in the work physically, nutritionally, and mentally day in and day out. This is a part of me. I am who I am for a reason. I truly want to make a difference. This journey has really opened my eyes to what is possible. You know what that is? It’s me….I am possible. I can create things to happen in my life. I am so grateful that this opportunity is opening up so many doors for my future.