In my life I have accomplished many things, survived some terrifying situations, got stuck in depression, and have had some amazing happy times. I have always strived to do well. I like to put in more work than average and bring in good results in most situations. I say most situations because until recently I have not put in the work to put myself as a priority. I always have been the person to be the giver. I actually enjoy giving to others and bringing joy or comfort into peoples lives. Sometimes though that can go to far. Meaning sometimes when you are only giving and not receiving you can get taken advantage of. What I have come to learn and now realize is that I allowed all of it to happen. I was afraid. Afraid to stand up for myself because of what might happen and that maybe those situations were the best I was ever going to get. The fear of being alone, the fear of what others would think, the fear that maybe I just wasn’t good enough.
Over the years I have developed my inner self awareness. I have learned a lot and been able to take that and use it in many capacities. Much more recently I have been able to surround myself with some amazing people. People who are really there for me. When I am down they pull me up. When I am good they are there to enjoy it with me. They believe in me when I have not felt full belief in myself. When the doubt is circling they are there to help reassure me.
Here is where the turning a corner comes in…
Over the past couple months I have not only gone all in on my training for my competition, but I have dedicated myself to diving internally as well. Through working with an amazing life coach and taking the time to do the necessary work it has made a huge difference. A difference that is noticeable in all aspects of my life. It’s not a confidence, or an attitude, but more like an energy. Like a light was finally turned on and now brightening the whole room, but then add feeling to that. Not the easiest to explain. But I feel it.
It makes a difference in my training, in my work, in my relationships, because it exudes from within it encompasses all of who I am. It is pretty interesting because now I feel like I can even give more but am able to set boundaries that are workable for me.
I’m seeing this all come together day by day. Actions, thoughts, feelings are coming up and I am handling them differently.
I believe that my body will be phenomenal on that stage. It will look so much different than it did a year ago, but what will win it is the energy that exudes from me. They will see it in my eyes. I am the real deal. I embody what I believe a Pro should be. Turning this corner has been a big change in my life.
Meditating, being aware of thoughts, feelings and when they arise. Seeing things with a different perspective is making a huge difference.