As I get ready to leave Oregon tomorrow and drive back home I find my mind wondering. The above statement is so true. Voices…the critic – the negative, over critical, guilt creator who wants to stir up fear and doubt. Then your Inner Wisdom or Higher Self Voice – the truth, reality, from the heart that grounds you and brings you back to center.
Like everyone we bounce back and forth between these two voices then come up with thoughts about all sorts of things. What else could I have done the critic has me thinking, but then the Inner wisdom says, you put in 110% into the workouts, diet, and took the extra step of coming up to Oregon. It’s amazing how we want to listen to the critic more than we want to hear the real truth of how we feel from within.
Here is what I know for sure. I work hard. I’ve been working hard. This has been a build up over the last 3 years with an increased effort this past year under my coach Mouss. I stuck to my diet. I didn’t just do my workouts. I scorched them. I was on plan the entire time. I trust my coach and since I am an achiever…I did all that he asked. No questions about it. I got my plan and worked that plan. It all came from my heart. I pushed myself. I love what I do and how it makes me feel. I know I look thousands of times better than when I was last on stage. I am the best me that I have ever been. How can you ask for more than that? You can’t. So I am going to go to the show…walk on that stage with pride, confidence, and knowing that I am one they can not knock down. Whatever happens with the opinions of the judges my opinion is the one that counts.
I’ve had an incredible journey here in Oregon and plan on returning. Not sure when, but I know that I have family here now and they will be missed. As much as I want to get home. I am really going to miss the community here that I have already built up.
My journey is know where close to being over. Now its on to finish final touches at home then off to NJ, but it doesn’t stop there. There is much more to this journey than just this upcoming show. This is just step one of my dream.